


Hold me close

by just_spn_trash



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Cockles, First Kiss, Jib 2019, Love Confessions, M/M, jibcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:55:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26236030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_spn_trash/pseuds/just_spn_trash
Summary: At Jibcon, Jensen does something he regrets as soon as it happens. However, he blames Misha for it, who can't understand what he has done wrong.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Misha Collins
Comments: 4
Kudos: 86





	Hold me close

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so I've watched the panel of Jensen and Misha at Jibcon 2019 yesterday and just had to write something about it. It's makred as 'mature', because of the language and what happens at the beginning, but there's no actual sexual content.
> 
> Have fun :)

Jensen instantly regretted what he did. He knew that getting down on the floor wasn't a good idea, especially not because he knew exactly what Misha was talking about. However, his head was spinning from the so-called 'apple juice' and he needed to play along. It would've been way too obvious if he wouldn't, especially because he's well aware of what the fans are thinking about Misha and him already. 

Now that he's lying there, straddled by Misha and popping a boner right in front of the whole audience, there's nothing he's ever regretted more in his whole life. Well, except of not telling his wife how he feels about Misha, but he's sure she already noticed. There's nothing Daneel doesn't notice when it comes to Jensen, even if he tries to hide it. 

Speaking of Misha, he doesn't seem to notice what's happening beneath him, he just continues with his show, tries to make the fans happy. As soon as the blue eyed man wraps his hand around Jensen's neck, he swallows hard and has to fight every muscle in his body to keep his eyes open, knowing what will come. What he didn't expect was the loud noise that came from backstage all of a sudden, followed by a wide grinning Jared, holding a big horn in his hands. 

Suddenly Misha gets up, also starting to grin widely and acts like he doesn't even care about Jensen anymore. Great, what now? He can't get up this easily without the fans noticing what's going on in his jeans, but he also can't just stay where he is. Slowly he tries to get up, his legs half crossed and he makes sure that his olive green jacket covers most of his accident.

"What's up guys? Mind if I stay?" He hears Jared say, while he turns his back to the audience and quickly walks over to his chair. When he looks at Misha, he's looking right back at him and tilts his head just a little bit in a silent question if everything's okay. That's it. That's all Jensen needs and his head snaps, suddenly he's more than angry. Misha knows well enough that Jensen isn't the one to play games like that on stage, and he pulled him into this situation anyways.

Thinking about what to do now, Jensen just grabs his microphone, not sure what to do or say, but he needs something in his hands, something to focus on so that he won't show what's going on in his head in front of everyone. He's trying, he's really trying hard not to think about what just happened as the panel goes on, but all he can think about is that Misha almost kissed him. That he straddled him and fucking  _ choked  _ him. Not that Jensen would complain, but in front of a room, filled with thousands of people?

He doesn't even listen anymore to what Jared and Misha are talking about, nor to the questions of the fans. He knows he should, he's there because of that, but that goddamn  _ need  _ and  _ anger  _ boiling inside of him make it impossible. It almost gets painful to sit like that, his boner still very present, so he stands up. He has to find a more comfortable position. As inconspicuous as possible, Jensen's hand slides down and he pulls at his jeans just a bit, while his gaze wanders around in the room. No one seemed to notice, good. 

When he sits down again, he makes sure to sit on the edge of the chair, so that it won't get as bad as before and tries to focus on the people around him for now. He notices fans asking questions, he realizes that he's supposed to answer, but his head is still spinning and he swears to himself that he won't drink alcohol on stage ever again. 

The first thing that actually makes him react is when the music starts playing, which makes him sigh relieved. That goddamn panel is over, good. He already feels bad for the fans who paid a lot of money to see him and makes a mental note to make it up to them during the photo op’s. Slowly he stands up, noticing relieved that his boner is gone by now and gives the audience a little smile, which feels almost apologetical.

“See you guys later again!” he hears Misha say and the anger from before comes back within one second. He waves at the fans and quickly walks down from the stage, because he doesn’t want anyone to notice how he actually feels at the moment. Jared and Misha follow him, but Jared almost immediately gets stopped by someone from the crew. Jensen doesn’t care, he just needs to get out. He needs to take a deep breath and calm down, otherwise he’d probably just smash something, which wouldn’t be good PR at all.

“Jensen, wait a second!” Great, he really doesn’t need Misha at the moment, so he just continues walking towards the big door, which leads to the floor of the hotel they’re currently in. “Please Jensen, what’s wrong?” Jensen hears the shorter man say again, but still doesn’t stop. “Nothin’, just need a little break” he mumbles quietly, knowing that he probably sounds harsher than he intended.

All of a sudden, there’s a hand on his shoulder and tries to turn him around, but Jensen reacts faster. He turns around as fast as possible and gives Misha a glare, who almost immediately takes a step back and raises his hands in front of his chest in defense. “Woah, what’s gotten into you?” the blue eyed man asks and his eyes are wide, almost like he’s scared. 

Jensen looks around, trying to find a place where they can talk, because he really wants Misha to know what he was doing wrong. Well, basically he didn’t do anything, but he’s still convinced that Misha’s the one to blame. As soon as he spots a door that’s a bit away from all the trouble backstage, he grabs Misha’s arm and pulls him over, opening the door and slamming it shut behind them after he pushed the shorter one in. 

“You want to know what’s wrong? Fine! What the fuck was going on in your mind on stage?” Jensen almost yells, but lowers his voice a bit when he remembers that there are still people outside who could hear them. “What are you talking about? YOU were the one who was lying down on the floor without me even asking for it!” Misha says, looking shocked, but it’s clearly to see that he also starts to get angry. Swallowing hard, Jensen gives Misha another glare, but then sighs and tries to calm down a bit. “Yeah, but if Jared wouldn’t have interrupted, you would’ve fucking  _ kissed  _ me, Mish! You know the fans are talking already, we don’t need stuff like that!” 

Misha sighs all of a sudden and looks defeated, raising his hands in front of his chest again. “I’m sorry, okay? I wasn’t thinking and I won’t do it again. Is that what you wanted to hear?” he asks and tilts his head just a bit, before he already turns around and wants to leave. “Sorry Jensen, but I have photo op’s in half an-” 

The older one can’t finish his sentence, because with another sudden move Jensen pulls him back and presses him against the door, his arm lying over Misha’s chest and holding him in place. “Don’t you dare to leave now!” he mumbles and stares right into Misha’s eyes. “I mean it Mish, don’t ever do that again. People are talking and even  _ Daneel  _ started to ship it. Don’t make it worse.” 

This is close. Too damn close. Shit. Jensen swallows and licks his lips, while he just continues staring into Misha’s eyes.  _ That goddamn blue eyes. _ “Like I said, I… I won’t. I just wanted to… tell the story, that’s all” Misha mumbles and his gaze wanders down to the younger one’s lips, just for a split second, but long enough for Jensen to notice. “Wait, so you say that Daneel… would be okay with it?” 

“ _ Don’t  _ talk about Daneel, after-” With a shocked expression, Jensen immediately shuts his mouth, but presses Misha even harder against the door, his anger from before coming back in no time. 

“After… what?” Misha asks quietly and swallows again.  _ Shit.  _ “Nothing, just… don’t talk about her. You have no right after what you did.” 

Misha breathes in slowly and for a second, it looks like he tries to figure out what’s going on in Jensen’s head, but then he just sighs, which Jensen can feel pretty good, because his arm is still pressed against the older one’s chest. “Okay, then I won’t. I still don’t know why you blame  _ me  _ for what happened, but I’m really sorry, Jensen.” There’s even more anger, even more  _ something,  _ a feeling in Jensen’s chest which he can’t really understand. 

He still watches the man in front of him closely and almost  _ whimpers _ when he licks his lips. His hands are clenched to fists, which he didn’t notice until now. It’s almost like his brain stops working completely, now that Misha’s lips are glistening with slavia just lightly and suddenly, the room they’re in feels way too small, way too  _ hot. _

He feels goosebumps spreading over his whole body and shivers just a bit, but definitely noticeable for Misha, who tilts his head. “Hey, are you okay?” he asks and squints his eyes. One of Misha’s hands wanders up to Jensen’s arm on his chest and he tries to pull it away, but the younger one pushes even harder. Besides that, he’s frozen in place, not sure why he’s feeling like that, but he knows that feeling. The feeling of  _ need, _ of  _ longing. _

Without thinking, without even  _ breathing,  _ Jensen urges forward and presses his lips against Misha’s, hard enough to suppress every single thought in his brain. Misha gasps as soon as he notices what the younger one is about to do, but his breath gets cut off because of the forcefulness. The back of his head hits the door, but he’s too startled to actually notice. 

As fast as Jensen kisses his coworker, he pulls back again, his eyes wide and his jaw dropped down completely. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t-” but he gets cut off by Misha, who leans forward and catches Jensen’s lips once more; not as hard and forceful as Jensen did, but hard enough for Jensen to whimper quietly. When Misha also lifts one of his hands and cups the younger man’s cheek softly, which feels almost like just a light touch of a feather, it’s over and he gives up.

The taller one’s eyes fall shut and he gives in with a quiet sigh, his lips moving slowly against the ones of his counterpart, who also sighs more than quiet and relaxes visibly. Jensen’s heart is racing heavily and he notices that it feels different. He’d only kissed women before, but the light stubble and these slightly chapped lips feel more than good. Slowly, he lowers his arm at Misha’s chest and puts his hands at his hips instead, stepping a tiny bit closer.

He doesn’t understand what’s happening, doesn’t know why he doesn’t pull back, but it feels more than  _ amazing.  _ Not even the thought of Daneel upsets him at the moment, even though he knows pretty well that it should. Jensen feels like time is standing still, he can’t even hear the muffled voices from outside anymore.

Way too fast Misha breaks the kiss, but stays close, their faces only a few inches apart. “That… that’s what’d upset you?” he whispers, probably because he doesn’t want to destroy their moment with being too loud. A light smile appears on the shorter one’s lips and Jensen can’t do anything but smile back, even though he feels how his hands start to shake all of a sudden. “I really didn’t want to… you know, I haven’t planned… and Daneel, I just don’t…” he stutters, but Misha cuts him off with another soft kiss, which is basically just a brush of their lips. 

“Don’t… just… please, let me enjoy this moment…” Misha whispers quietly and leans his forehead against Jensen’s slowly, looking right into his eyes. “But-” Again, Misha cuts him off with another kiss, and Jensen shivers a bit because this time, it feels different. It feels like there are actual  _ feelings  _ involved, which lets him get goosebumps everywhere once more and his heart beats even faster. 

It feels like the whole world stopped spinning at this moment, it’s just the two of them, kissing like they’d never done anything else in their whole life. Again it’s Misha who breaks the kiss first and a little frustrated groan escapes Jensen, because he just managed to suppress every single thought once more. “You… you didn’t notice, did you?” the older one asks and leans back a bit now to see Jensen’s face fully. 

“What… what do you mean?” Jensen asks, visibly perplex and slowly pulls his hands back. He feels that this moment is gone, that whatever they just shared is over. Misha just smiles and shakes his head, but something tells Jensen that he doesn’t seem to feel that good. “It’s nothing, I just-”

“Tell me… please Mish, I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” Misha just shakes his head again and pushes Jensen back at his shoulders a bit. “You didn’t, it’s nothing, really.”

A light sting in his heart makes Jensen frown, but he doesn’t stop Misha. “Mish, please…” he mumbles and it almost sounds desperate, his voice shortly before breaking, because he feels like he just destroyed something without even knowing what that  _ something _ is. 

Misha takes a deep breath and looks like he wants to say something, but then shakes his head again. “I should go… and maybe you should talk to your wife” he mumbles and turns around with a sad smile, but Jensen quickly grabs his arm and spins him around again, pressing him against the door just like he did before, this time with his body instead of his arm. 

“Please man, I… I have no idea what just happened or… or  _ why.  _ I just… I want to know what’s going on in your head, I want to understand… whatever this is.” As soon as Jensen is done talking, he takes a step back and rubs over his face once. Misha smiles sadly and sighs another time, this time breaking their eye contact. “I… I love you, Jensen. Wasn’t it obvious the whole time?” 

Jensen’s jaw drops and he feels like he just got slapped in the face, but in a good way. “You…?”

“Yeah…” is all Misha says and actually  _ blushes _ , which makes Jensen gasp. He has seen the older one in many situations already, but Misha  _ blushing _ ? 

Slowly, he takes some steps back, until his legs hit one of the chairs at the table in the room and he sits down, his heart racing again, just like when Misha kissed him. “But… but what’s with… Vicki?” he asks and practically  _ stares _ at Misha, who hasn’t moved a single muscle since his confession. “Vicki knows… and she’s okay with it. At least she was the last time we’ve… talked about it.” Jensen doesn’t know why, but he pulls his phone out of his pocket and blindly dials Daneels number. 

When Misha notices Jensen’s movement, he looks up and his eyes grow wide when he watches the younger one lifting his phone to his ear. “What are you doing?” he whispers, but Jensen just lifts one finger over his lips, which is shaking lightly. “Hey Babe, uh…” he mumbles when his wife picks up the phone and closes his eyes with a deep breath. “Uh… Mish… Mish and I, we-” 

Jensen gets interrupted by a more than loud squeak, which even Misha can hear. “Uhm… Yeah, he’s… he’s still with… okay… uh… sure, I’ll tell… uh… okay, yeah. I love you too.” With these words, the call ends and Jensen lowers his hand, looking at his phone with furrowed brows. “Uh… Dani says ‘Hi’... and… and ‘that she knew it all the time and is more than happy that it finally happened’?”

Misha’s head snaps up by Jensen’s words and he swallows hard. “She… oh…” he huffs out and his face turns from lightly flushed to completely red in a few seconds, which makes Jensen smile a bit. He stands up slowly and takes some steps closer to Misha again, but stops and shoves his hands into his pockets. “So… uh… I actually have no clue what to think right now, but… but I liked it, okay?” he mumbles quietly and looks at the ground.

When Misha says nothing and doesn’t move at all, Jensen slowly looks up again, an eyebrow raised. “Aren’t you gonna… say something…?” he asks, but then gasps quietly when Misha just steps forward and brushes his lips lightly over Jensen once more. “You… you want to… do this then?” he whispers after and a shy smile spreads on his lips.

When Jensen nods slowly, Misha’s smile turns into a little grin and he nods. “Then… then we will… figure out what exactly  _ this  _ is.” He points back and forth between both of their chests and Jensen also smiles again with a small nod. Slow and careful, almost like he’d touch some thin glass, he cups Misha’s cheeks and leans forward to kiss him softly once more, which again makes his heart race. 

“Yeah, we’ll figure it out.”


End file.
